Iron Mask

I wouldn't say you have to have seen the first instalment to enjoy it: in fact, an unfamiliarity with the general concept of cinema would probably help, if anything.

[A]t least two-thirds of Iron Mask is funny on purpose. The rest, however, is eventually dragged down by compounding inertia.

The Iron Mask will be a curiosity only to those most committed to the mantra of 'so bad, it's good'.

It's the sort of film that, in fact, makes the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise look like a series of elegant, coherent masterworks.

It didn't make a load of sense, despite occasional diverting moments.

A film daubed in CGI, with dialogue by Google Translate and a narrative logic so bamboozling it could pass for avant-garde.

The opening chapters are pretty funny, with these masters of action battling it out in the Tower and dropping bon mots. But TBH I'm lost for the late chapters.

This swollen, flowery 18th-century fantasy mishmash, though starry, might appeal to the thoroughly blunted. All others should take a pass.

Iron Mask looks like a movie made by people who wanted to waste millions in production money to make a live-action version of a very badly conceived cartoon.

As aggressively pointless as this can be and generally is, there's something engaging about its proudly threadbare showmanship.